Up and Down!!

The balancing act continues! I'd like to take a moment to applaud myself for a positive week. Ok, so maybe I strayed from my diet a bit, and maybe I skipped 2 days at the gym, BUT, I was able to make healthy decisions and prioritize. One of the major differences between the old me and the new me is that the new me realizes how much you have to take care of yourself. I can't even begin to tell you what an amazing difference I've felt since I started going to the gym and restricting my calories. I've lost 41 lbs and I still have a ways to go before I'm satisfied, but for the first time in my life, I feel like I have the control. My body is no longer a war-torn country I willingly sacrifice and abuse....yay!

To me, one of the most interesting parts of online dating is how much you can find out from just a simple email address. Even as I typed that I had a moment of oops, thinking that I actually have an email address connecting to this blog somewhere else. That's not great, I like to preserve my anonymity as much as possible, you know?

Anyway, I was talking to a few different guys and they all seemed great (however, my track record with judgment leaves something to be desired). Then I did a few simple searches. I found out one of them was quite obsessed with his hair and recent hair transplant and, according to a post on a support group site, the beautiful women have been flowing like milk and honey. Yikes, next please....Bachelor #2 secretly wants to be dominated. He still wants a normal relationship, just a side-serving of submission kink with it. Humiliate him, let him serve you, give him a good spanking. Bachelor #3 doesn't have a dirty or weird secret, but he does have a fairly serious and debilitating disease that he didn't mention. Although I do not hold that against him, I do question whether I would be able to cope with that. And even wondering makes me feel like a terrible, shallow person.

I can say with confidence that guy #1 will not be right for me, guy #2 is still in the running, and I'm at odds with #3. In other news, I made a date for Saturday night too quickly and I desperately want to get out of it! I don't know how to do it without hurting the guy's feelings, but I know that it's wrong between us and I don't want to give him false hope because he's been through a lot. I know how bad it hurts when someone you're really interested in blows you off. They say honesty is best, but it stings pretty bad. More so to the point, am I hesitating in telling him the truth because I don't want to hurt him or because I don't want to deal with an awkward situation? Again, with the terrible, shallow me. Ugh.