sleepy

I really, really, really dislike Mondays. I had a nice weekend though, I kept to myself for the most part...needed some downtime I guess. I did manage to make it to the gym both days and had good workouts instead of half-assed ones, feeling a little sore today. And tired. Last night I went to see an old friend and I stayed up a little later than usual. I slept really well for the first time in a couple of weeks, too bad I still didn't get my 8 hours.

As I've lost weight, it's funny to me how people look at you different. For the first time, I had a revelation this weekend. I decided that I'm "all in". Before, I was fine with getting off enough to be healthy, but still having my flaws. Why not strive for a perfect body? Who says it's impossible? It's not like I would have to put forth any extra effort, I just have to keep doing what I'm doing now....only longer than I originally thought.

My phone isn't working today and it's kind of refreshing to get away from it. Yesterday I was feeling like I closed a chapter in my single life, and that chapter may or may not be trying to get in touch with me today. I like not knowing. If it's not over, I don't know if I have the strength to keep waiting and being patient, but if it really is this time, I don't want that feeling of loss. It's just not easy, and it seems like it should be.

Lucky for me, I'm leaving work a little early today, in about 2 minutes to be exact, so I can sneak in a little catnap before I get started on this evening's plans. Also, the bachelors are getting narrowed down, there's two now, but I can really see one working out. Those of you who know me from my last blog are no doubt smirking right now, as this sounds familiar to you. Hell, it sounds familiar to me too. Reference a previous posting where I refer to myself as an idiot...but to clarify, I'm an optimistic idiot.

It's not that I'm dead-set on finding some perfect man or relationship, I like the chase and the process and the excitement. But I wouldn't complain if one of them worked out. And it's time to go, my bed is waiting for me (thank god).